Harry Potter memes
by Mckenzie Groven
Summary: What? so this isn't a story? Nope. This is a fan fiction for Harry Potter, Harry Potter memes and jokes. I mean, someone has to be different. Have a good old laugh (or not) while exploring fan fiction with some of these Harry Potter memes. (Ok I just just sound like a seller). Please don't forget to write a review GIGGLE AWAY.
1. Chapter 1 - The common ones

**HARRY POTTER JOKES 'n' MEMES**

_CHAPTER 1: The common ones_

_**(A.N. Hi guys and welcome to my I dunno fanfic (That was a terrible first line). I'm currently writing a fanfiction for Dork Diaries, it's called 'The Next Dork' you should really go check it out. So this isn't really a story (just an extra thingy – majig). Im gonna write some Harry Potter jokes n memes! Yay(!) Really just to pass time... If you do ending up reading this be sure to laugh (I don't mind sarcasm) Okay we don't want the intro to be too wordy, CYA)**_

Voldemort & Sirius Black  
**VOLDEMORT : **_Why so sirius?_  
**SIRIUS: **_Why so nosy?_  
_'cheers'_

Harry Potter & Sirius Black  
**HARRY: **_Your white._  
_**S**_**IRIUS: **_No, Im black._  
**HARRY: **_Lol, Stop joking._  
**SIRIUS: **_I'm sirius._  
_'but-'_

Dumbledore & Severus Snape  
**SNAPE: **_Headmaster, I'm afraid the Dark Lord has returned,_  
**DUMBLEDORE: **_Are you serious?_  
**SNAPE: **_No, I'm Severus._  
_'sirius be like,'_

Voldemort & Lucius Malfoy  
**MALFOY: **_What kind of Dark Lord are you?_  
**VOLDEMORT: **_Umm_  
**MALFOY: **_You let Harry Potter escape right under your nose_  
**VOLDEMORT: **_Right under my what?!_  
_'insults'_

Ron Weasley & Harry Potter  
**RON: **_uh huh? Anything else Harry Potter?!_  
**HARRY: **_Yeah! STAY AWAY FROM ME, I DON'T WANNA EVER SEE YOU AGAIN!_  
**RON: **_FINE! Hmph... See you in the room we share..._  
_'roommate's arguments be like,'_

Ron Weasley & Hermione Granger  
**HERMIONE: **_Hi, I'm Hermione Granger_  
_Ron continues to chew his food*_  
**HERMIONE: **_And you are...?_  
**RON: **_Your future husband. _  
_'silence'_

George Weasley & Draco Malfoy  
**GEORGE: **_Draco..._  
**DRACO: **_Wut._  
**GEORGE: **_Your hair..._  
**DRACO: **_Huh?_  
**GEORGE: **_Let me touch it..._  
**DRACO: **_Ei?_  
**GEORGE: **_PLEASE._  
_'Eh...beggars'_

Rubeus Hagrid & Harry Potter  
**HAGRID: **_Then the plane flew through 'you know what'_  
**HARRY: **_What you mean turbulence?_  
**HAGRID: **_Oh...shh don't say it!_  
_'excuses'_

**Dumbledore: **_Student safety is my top priority_  
_'repeatedly hires unstable and dangerous professors'_

'_I think it's nice that Voldemort always waits at the end of the year to try and kill Harry Potter'_  
_'Despite his flaws, Voldemort does indeed care about Harry's education'_

'_I named my lizard Harry, just so I can say,_  
_You're a Lizard Harry'_

_On a scale of one to ten how obsessed are you with Harry Potter?_  
_'About nine and three quarters'_

What do you call a coughing Quiddtich commander?  
_A Weasley._

What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?  
_Gifted._

What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?  
_Pregnant._

What do you call a potterhead on a horse?  
_Harry Trotter._

Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?  
_So you'll never know which side he's on._

Why does Voldemort love Nagani so much?  
_Because she gives him hugs and hisses._

Why does Voldemort not have any glasses?  
_Nobody nose._

Why does Sirius Black have so many fans?  
_Once you go Black you definitely don't go back!_

Why does Voldemort use Twitter and not Facebook?  
_Because he has followers, not friends._

Why did Harry Potter cross the road?  
_No one knows but someone will write a fan fiction about it._

_**(A.N. Ok that just a short list of stuff to hop onto fan fiction. I won't be surprised if I don't get that much views but still someone might read this. If you do please write a review of what topic I should base my memes and jokes on for the next 'chapter'. I actually ain't that much of a Harry Potter fan but I do look at the memes so yea! Anyways bye people see you after a few days (If, only if, someone writes a review) CYA PEEPS!)**_


	2. Chapter two - Author's note

**(AUTHORS NOTE -**  
**Hey guys sorry this is just an author's note. Anyways I'm here unexpectedly to tell you...**

**1\. I've started a Harry Potter Fanfiction It's called 'Harry Potter memes' So, I basically just write memes and jokes its not a story it's just something different I thought a little extra thing could be well, nice. XD **

**2\. I'm going to be competing in a competition with Ivy Groven and Olympus Angel. Basically we will all write a one – shot on Miraculous Ladybug and which ever one shot gets the most views/reviews will be the winner and Gee...the prize is big. So if your reading this Please Please Please go check it out, press on it a hundred times if you want ME to win and don't forget to write a few 'reviews' If you do do that, you will be in my next competition which will be based on the person who gives me the best number of views/reviews THX! Oh and you can go ahead and check the other competitors fanfic's too but mine more if you really wanna be in my competition...**

**3\. I won't be writing another chapter for 'The Next Dork'or 'Harry Potter memes' sorry. Until I finish the miraculous ladybug one shot, there'll be no Dork stuff or H.P stuff soz people**

**Ok those where all the notes I'm gonna put this author note on both of my stories...so only read the notes that actually are beneficial to you XD **  
**Cya Dorks**  
**H.P's out - **

**(I just made a new phrase for the new fanfic it sounds rubbish help me with another one OK BYE- but hold on, btw I wrote this in a literal rush so don't mind the english phrases that don't make sense and the spelling mistakes and yeaa UGH ok last BYE) **


	3. Chapter 2 - for 'True' fans

CHAPTER 2: For the 'true' fans

_**(Hey guys it's me again! So, I know I already said that I won't post until my miraculous one shot came out, but because of my free time, I'm going to do another chapter on H.P! Your lucky, I'm not doing Dork Diaries sorry Dork Diary fans I only had time to do one!)**_

'_Voldemort is like a teenage girl,_  
_he has a diary,_  
_a tiara,_  
_a special cup_  
_a pet he adores_  
_and an obsession with a famous _**teenage**_ boy'_

'_Tom Riddle knows everybody's business_  
_he knows everything about everyone._  
_**That's why his chamber is so big,**_  
_**It's full of secrets.**_

'_If you're havin' Quidditch problems I feel bad for you son'_  
_'I got 99 problems but a snitch ain't one'_

'_Ron Weasley, the boy who made it out of the friend's zone'_

_A way to depict the four houses -_  
**Gryffindor: **_'I hate Slytherin'_  
**Slytherin:**_ 'I hate Gryffindor'_  
**Hufflepuff:**_ 'I wish Gryffindor and Slytherin would stop fighting'_  
**Ravenclaw**_**:**__ 'Shut it everyone. I'm reading.'_

**Harry Potter: **_I don't always die, but when I do, I don't_

**Dumbledore: **_I'm sorry about your parents, but no spell can reawaken the dead, Harry. I trust you know that._  
_'Except for the time turner. We'll use that to save buckbeack'_

**Voldemort: **_AVADA KED-_  
**Hermione: **_You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, you,re saying it wrong._

**Dumbledore: **_Now welcome to Hogwarts, one of the best thing about this school is, NO MATH._

**Hagrid: **_You're a unit of power Harry,_  
**Harry: **_I'm a watt?_

**Ron: **_Harry, you need to help me, I think Hermione has been friendzoning me...what if this goes nay longer?_  
**Harry: **_…_  
**Snape: **_Stop whining!_  
_You know nothing about friendzones._

_Harry: 'The one who lost his parents'_  
_Snape: 'The one who lost his love'_  
_Voldemort: 'The one who lost his nose'_

**Snape: **_I don't always cry..._  
_But when I do, they're magical memory tears._

**Harry: **_Why is the Ravenclaw symbol an eagle?_  
**Ron: **_What other animal would you want it to be?_  
**Harry: **_oH I doN'T kNOw, mAYbE, A raVEn?_

**TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO WONDER WHY GIRLS GO TO THE BATHROOM TOGETHER.**  
**They went alone and...**  
**'**_Hermione got attacked by a troll'_  
_'Ginny got abducted'_  
_'Myrtle died'_  
_'Katie got cursed'_  
**DON'T GO TO THE TOILET ALONE GIRLS. Future **

**Snape: **_My Lord, regrettably..._  
**Voldemort: **_…_  
**Snape: **_I forgot the snacks._

**Sorting hat quizzes be like...**  
_**How do you brush your teeth?**_  
_A) Bravely_  
_B) While making a sandwich_  
_C) While reading book_  
_D) I'm a snake_  
_**Can you 'sort' this out?**_

'_I wonder what Hermione did the whole train ride to Hogwarts while Harry and Ron had the car..._  
_Probably had the only peace and quiet she'll ever have for the rest of her life'_

'_I used to be so jealous of Harry Potter for being able to talk to snakes, but it turns out I've been doing it for years_

'_The reason Harry wasn't chosen for Ravenclaw was because he tried to catch the Hogwarts letter from the air instead of taking one from the floor._

**Dumbledore: **_Now give a warm welcome to our new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Lucifer Serpentine_  
**Harry: **_I bet this dude it great_

_**(A.N. So that was the other lot of words. Some, may not understand a few of them as they're kind of for the people who can't live withought saying the words 'Gryffindor' at least once every day. Sorry guys the miraculous ladybug competition was cancelled, due to some absences. Anyways I'll see you all in maybe around 3 days!**_  
_**Bai!)**_


End file.
